Remus Lupin
by Sarah Selene
Summary: Remus Lupin hasn't has the easiest life. Seperated from the man he loved for more then twelve years, can he find it in his heart to trust him after he hears the truth about his two bests friends death? and what hardships will he face throughout life?
1. Werewolf, Teacher, Lover

**Disclaimer: Oh my god. I'm not J.K. Rowling, no way! I don't own any characters in this. If this is simular to anyone else's story, I'm sorry. If you find any mistakes, tell me, and I will fix them. Ok, I will not be saying this every chapter. This is it and it goes for all chapters, this is my first fanfic, so sorry if it sucks.**

* * *

A young boy played in a field with his mother and father. Amber eyes dancing around as he played. A growl was heard, the amber eyes locked on the large beast as it clamped down on him, the boy screaming in pain. The scene suddenly changed and there was a greasy black haired man over the bodies of two of this person's friends. Then all changed again. A better scene, same greasy haired man sitting there with his friend's son in his arm. He spoke "Hey, Moony, have you ever wanted kids?" Then there was nothing.

Remus Lupin woke up feeling more exhausted then he should have. His two pale hands moved down his face as he thought of where he was. He sat up slowly and looked around. His room. He was in the same room he had fallen asleep in. In the same Hogwarts. He looked out the window, it was storming outside, and he knew he should be sleeping. But could he sleep? He shook his head; he knew he couldn't if he tried. He walked downstairs to his office after throwing on his robe; he would do paperwork, which always helped.

He looked over the test he had just given that morning and began grading. Some he could just scan, like Hermione Granger's, which of course got a perfect. Others he had to go through and look at each individual wrong to see how much partial credit he would have to give, like Neville Longbottom. "At least he tries" he muttered to himself as he gave Neville a nine out of twenty. Then there were those who didn't care, such as Draco. He chuckled softly "Just like his father" he mused to himself, looking back on memories, but he couldn't stay in his memories, he knew he would just cry again.

The window burst open, wind and rain disrupting his thoughts and paperwork. He stood up and went to the window and looked around seeing no one in his room he slammed the window closed. He looked around his room and started picking up papers sighing, trying to calm his startled body.

"Sorry about that…I meant to come in quietly…" Remus' body went rigid when he heard the familiar voice, he recognized it anywhere. He whipped out his wand and turned, the tip glowed and he saw the man he really didn't want to see. Sirius Black.

"Why are you here?" Remus said coldly

"Why else would I be here? I came to see you, Moony…"

"Don't call me that!" Remus could tell he had startled Sirius, but he wasn't in a good mood.

"What's wrong, Remus?"

"Why are you here? Did you come to kill me too?"

"What?"

"I know what you did! You killed James and Lily! Then you killed Peter! You're here to finish me off now aren't you?"

Sirius watched him and shook his head "Remus, I didn't kill them..."

"Bull shit!" Remus swore, again startling the greasy-haired man

Sirius watched him in silence for a while, then swiftly moved, catching Remus off-guard as he was pulled foreword into...a hug and a kiss. Remus was confused and tried to get away, but Sirius' body was much stronger then poor Remus. Sirius looks down at him.

"Remus…This is the man you trusted. He's scared and he's alone. This is the man you loved. He's missed you and would do anything to be with you. This man is not a murderer. Now sit down. Let me explain this to you. You can keep your wand aimed at me if it makes you feel safer" Sirius' voice was so serious; his eyes stared into Remus' with no hint of a lie. Past that he could see fear, something he had only seen once, and Remus was three inches from death when he did. Slowly he moved and sat down in his desk chair as he stared at the man he hadn't seen in twelve years.

Sirius took a deep breath "I know what's going through your mind, ok? I know you knew I was James Secret Keeper, but…we realized that that could be dangerous…so we switched the duty over to Peter, not telling anyone…not even you…He's the one who led Voldemort to James and Lily…not me, I swear it to you. I'll take the Unbreakable Vow for you." Sirius got down on his knees, in a very fetal position. "Now, for Azkaban…They're looking for a human…so all I had to do was transform into a dog and…swim…It was hard, my hands and feet still hurt, but I had to make it to Hogwarts. I've been watching Harry this whole time, I think he saw me once but there's no way he's going to know it's me… Remus I am so sorry for everything I've done…I've sinned and I know I have, I have so much weight on my shoulders…but…if I'm going to be executed…" He looked up at him "I wanted to tell you the truth first, so I wouldn't go with you thinking I was a murder."

Remus watched him in complete silence. He bit his lip in nervous habit. He touched his shirt and pulled him up, kissing him deeply. When he pulled away Sirius' hair hid his face, but he knew he was crying and when he suddenly tasted salt he realized he was too.

"…You can stay at the Shrieking Shack. No one goes there except me…I'm not dangerous anymore though, I'm taking wolfsbane, Severus brews it up-" but he was interrupted by Sirius' barking laugh.

"So it's true, Snivvelus does work here…"

"Yes, Sirius" he sighed at his child like manners "He does, and it's polite if you don't call him that"

Sirius looked at him with a familiar glint in his eyes "I'm not polite, and that's why you love me"

Remus laughed and nodded, pulling Sirius in for another kiss "Yes…you're right…" he hugged him tight "thanks for coming back" Sirius smiled and hugged him back.

"Every time…" he said softly and ran his fingers threw Remus' sandy hair.


	2. Werewolf, Child, Loner

Remus laid on the mattress with Sirius, snuggled close. Both were fully clothed, but only because Remus kept clothes in the house. Buckbeak waited outside in the backyard. They were in Remus' own house. The school year had ended, Peter got away, but so did Sirius and Buckbeak. Sirius actually was hiding out more South, but he usually came and visited his dear Moony.

Remus pulled up his sleeve "Here." He pointed to something on his arm. Sirius at first saw nothing but he moved closer to him and could see a fainted scar in the shape of a werewolf muzzle, he knew the shape well.

"Is that where you were bit?" Remus nodded. "How'd it happen?" Sirius asked.

Remus' eyes became unfocused as he thought "Well…it started on a warm summer day with my parents…"

Young Remus, no older then eight years old, clung to his mom as they rode into the country side. He had always been rather clingy, but it was all because he loved his parents, but it made it harder on his parents to send him to school. They finally got to their clearing and set up camp. He grinned, looking around the area. He looked back at them "Look at this place!" He squealed "It's huge!" (Here Sirius chuckled and said "I've heard you say that before, but not about a place" and afterwards Remus hit him.)

His mother laughed "Don't go off to far, Remmy!"

Remus nodded and laughed as he tried to see how far he could run. He made it all the way to the woods, his eyes darted around as he laughed happily, he felt free, and he felt happy. But he paused suddenly, looking behind him, he heard something, but didn't see anything. He shrugged and ran back to his parents.

His parents were muggle lovers like too few people and built up a large fire without magic. Remus smiled and snuggled close to his mother near the fire. He was very content. He sighed as he stared at the sky. His father sat near them pointing to the stars and naming constellations "The moon is full tonight, Remus. See that?" He pointed to the moon and looked down at his son. Remus nodded "Yeah, it's really beautiful..." He then grinned and leapt up, poking his father "Tag! You're it!" He laughed and ran off.

His father shook his head smiling and ran off after him smiling. Remus laughed so hard then paused when he got to the edge of the forest, seeing where his dad was. That's when he heard something, the same sound he had heard that morning, he turned and there is was, a large wolf like creature bit down on his arm and the little boy screamed in pain. The werewolf ran off before the parents came over to check on their son. "It looks like he was bit by a wolf…" His father then froze. He grabbed his wife and pulled her away from their son. Remus tried to get closer but his father held up a hand "No, Remus, stay there, don't get any closer." Remus didn't know what to do, his arm was bleeding and his parents were backing away from him.

His father whispered to his mother, but he could not hear him, he only understood one word "Werewolf". Remus didn't understand "Mommy? Daddy? What's wrong? Why won't you come near me?" But his parents didn't answer him. "Mom? Dad?" he tried to move close again but that's when he felt it. A sudden churning came into his stomach and his amber eyes widened when he watched the hair on his body become darker, and coarser. He began trembling for a new fear of his transforming body and he looked to his parents who just continued to look away. His father slowly broke away from his mother just in time to watch their son scream in pain as the transformation finished. Yellow eyes stared at him, but didn't show the same pain as his son.

"I'm sorry Remus…" His father whispered and pulled out his wand, locking him up in a cage.

When Remus came to he found himself at home. But it wasn't really home, not after what happened. He sat up. He was so confused, not sure what really happened. He looked back on the look his parent's eyes and he knew they didn't love him anymore, he knew there was something wrong with him, but he didn't know what was wrong with him. What he needed to do was to find out. He stood up slowly and flinched. He was in a cage. He hadn't realized how short the ceiling was. His father came in and gave a weak smile "Hello Remus…" said his father softly "Feeling all better?" Remus said nothing to him. His father went over "we're going to keep you in this cage for a few more days, ok? Until we know you're better, ok?"

Remus looked up suddenly "does that mean it was only a one time thing?

His father bit his lip "well…no…it doesn't…You see, Remus…You're a werewolf now. Werewolves are like normal people except they have this sickness…this sickness makes it so that once a month, every full moon they turn into a beast that goes after humans…and bites them, making more werewolves…"

Remus trembled "So…so I'm sick…that's what you're saying? And every month I have to stay in this cage?" His father nodded. Remus looked down "I see…" He looked up "can I have books on Werewolves please?" His father nodded "of course" He walked out.

Remus closed his eyes and fell back asleep. He got to know this cage well as he got older, spending twelve weeks in it every year. That was, until the summer of his 11th birthday.

Remus sat in his cage, leaning against the bars, reading a new werewolf book, he had been seeing letters fly throughout the house by owl, each addressed to him, with the same penmanship but he wasn't allowed any of them. He thought he had been spending more time in this cage then he usually did, but he didn't care, he didn't have a calendar or anything in that cage, no way to tell time, he just had to live with it. He heard a knock on the door. That was unusual. What was more unusual was that a few moments after the mysterious person knocked on the front door; his mother came in and unlocked him, pulling him out and dragging him downstairs. He sat down next to his father and looked at the stranger "Hello" Said the man. He looked very old, ancient even, with a long white beard. His fingers were crossed and in his lap was a thing of Lemon Drops.

Remus nodded "Hello, Professor Dumbledore" Dumbledore smiled

"Ah, you know my name already, good good. You're Remus, are you not?" Remus nodded. Dumbledore smiles "Are you a werewolf?"

Remus paused "Yes I am…" Dumbledore nodded

"Could you tell me how your parentshandle this?"

His father interrupted "Professor, let me explain, this boy is extremely dangerous when he becomes a werewolf so we need to-"

The professor cut him off "Let the boy explain"

His father opened his mouth, but Remus started talking "They lock me in a cage sir…and I have to stay there for a week…until I'm all better…" The professor nodded

"I would like you to come to Hogwarts with me. We have a special area set up just for you, none of the students will know, and you'll only be locked up for the night"

Remus felt his jaw drop "You serious?" Dumbledore smiled and nodded. His father watched him "But sir…the other children…"

Dumbledore looks at him "not a problem. Just don't worry, we'll take him off your hands for nine months, then he comes back." His father fell silent.

The older Remus finished telling the tale of his childhood and looked back at his lover "After that, I was cut down to three weeks in that cage. I might have been free most of the year…but that cage still waited for me" Sirius' face grew very stern.

"So…all those months we weren't with you, you were in a cage?"

"Not the entire months…I don't blame my parent's though, they didn't know what to do, not like we had any relatives they could ask for support" He sighed softly and kissed Sirius softly "don't worry, the way I stayed sane in that cage afterwards was the memories of you guys"

Sirius smiled softly "always glad to help."


	3. Werewolf, Heartbreak, Loner

**Note: Yes, this is shorter then the other chapters, it's not the best one but I knew I would have to write about this sooner or later. Thank you, please if you review, don't flame. Thank you.**

* * *

Remus set up for dinner. Sirius had sent him an owl just the week before to tell him that Sirius would be coming over for dinner. He hummed happily as he finished his cooking. He looked back at the past few months. There Sirius had been so stressed out with Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts. His lover always seemed so weary, and walked around looking around Remus' house as if he would never see it again, yet he came back at least once every month.

Remus sat down on the couch, looking at his one clock. It was growing on the late side, Sirius was not one to be late to dinner, eating was always one of his favorite things to do. He leapt up from the couch as a scratching was heard on his door, generally Sirius came as a dog, and assumed immediately it was him. He opened the door "Oh Sirius thank goodness I was afraid something-"" He cut off, looking at the owl who sat on his door step "-happened…" he sighed and kneeled down, taking the letter from the owl "Thank you" he patted the owl, and watched it fly off.

He stepped inside his home, and tore the envelope. He looked at the writing on the front before he took out the letter, it was clearly Dumbledore's handwriting, and it was clearly for him. He sat down on his couch and opened the letter, which read:

"_Dear Remus Lupin,_

_I am sad to announce that Sirius will not be joining you for dinner tonight. You see, Harry believed something was going to happen at the Ministry, and went there with a group of his friends to try to stop it, but it was a trap. Sirius who had heard all about these warning signs saw it was a trap and went to save James' and Lily's only child. I am afraid he did not survive this gallant act. Finally tried for innocent, but it is too late now, he is gone. He left you a few possessions which have been stated that you would hold dear to you. He is terribly sorry he stood you up._

_Albus Dumbledore._"

Remus felt numb as the letter started trembling in his hands. He was gone. Sirius Black was gone. Remus checked over the letter what seemed thousands of times just to make sure it wasn't a mistake. It didn't sink in until the last time he read, the tears filled his eyes. He doubted there would be a funeral, Sirius never really wanted one. Tears dropped down his face. He gasped out a "Why…" he didn't understand quite fully. He set the letter on his coffee table and trembling stood up and walked up to his room. He never liked crying in his own living room, but in his room, he didn't care. Nothing really mattered anymore, it was all over. He just lost one man who swore he would never leave. He laid down on his bed, and finally just let the tears fall freely, and the sobs escape him.

It took Remus a few weeks before he could really get over the death of his last really true friend, and his first and only lover. He sat in his living room sipping tea when another scratching came to his door. He stood and went over to the door and opened it. Outside was a small owl with a package for him. He smiled and took it, opening it. Inside were things of Sirius'. He picked up an old silver cup and twirled it in his fingers "Heh…so all I needed to get this cup was to wait till you died, huh?" He sighed and noticed a letter from Dumbledore inside. He picked it up ad read it over; it had much better news then the last letter, asking him to be a spy. Asking him to move to the werewolf camp. He bit his lip thinking and looking around "Not much left for me here…" He sighs "I'll go…" He said to no one in particular. He closed his eyes and breathed in one last time, taking in the familiar scent before he got ready to leave "There are too many memories here…"


End file.
